Women Are a Foreign Culture
That is how you should approach them.
As a coach, I often get while talking to men that they think Women are too emotional, illogical, unreasonable, disrespectful, and often right down …crazy (Sorry). Gee, I wonder why we have problems.
Funny thing is, Men will describe themselves as “not that complicated” and easy to understand.
Well, that’s not true. There are very complex things that have Men function in very specific ways that are not obvious at all…especially to Women.
So, for Men to discard Women’s reactions or feelings as erratic or illogical is as helpful as saying “Men are stupid because they can only do one thing at a time.”
Men, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Women’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of pain. I’m sure you’ve experienced some of this with Women already. Think about the past for a minute… ever asked yourself, “What is wrong now?” or “Now she’s not talking to me, and I have no idea why!” Right?
Then you ask, “Are you okay?” and she answers, “ I’m fine” when she obviously isn’t, but now you think she’s playing games and you get annoyed. You ask her one more time a little more frustrated than before. She gives you the same answer… now you’re mad and neither leave the room nor the house.
Men, when it comes to Women, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).
Let me explain.
If you were to fly into Asia for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that do not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Asia, you better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed in that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going there would be very smart and respectable…and the best way to a successful transaction, deal, or experience.
That’s exactly how you want to approach Women. You must know what works for Women in order to succeed with Women (and yes, they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Women function, how their feelings run the show, and why they operate the way they do, is the loving and respectful way to be with Women. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Women.
Do I have your attention?
Men, you have the power to turn Women into sweet, fun, respectful and loving, feminine creatures and to have them support you the way you want them to when you understand how they function and what works for them… can you beat that?
Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to her and motivate her? I mean…not even close!
The problem is when we, Men, don’t understand Women, we often try to fix or manage them like Men. Which never works…have you noticed?
We want Women to be straightforward, cool-headed, emotionally predictable, and to not take things personally…well that’s all fine but that’s not a woman…that’s your buddy.
If you want even and predictable…hang with your boys. But that won’t bring you closer to understanding women.
Not understanding or valuing women’s emotions will have you to lose every time.
Telling her to stop feeling what she’s feeling won’t get you far either… you’re more likely to end up in the doghouse again wondering what happened.
You see, Women are giant “orgasmotrons.” Everything they see, hear, smell, taste, and touch make them feel good or bad. On the spot, immediately. Moment to moment, how she feels is how she experiences life and that is her inescapable reality…ALL THE TIME!!!
They have no choice about this, it isn’t a decision… it just is.
A woman must feel good to do good, A man must do good to feel good.
Complete opposition, completely different machines.
If Men need to be respected by Women to be good in the world, then a smart, caring Man generously will learn to cherish women’s feelings as much as he can regardless of how illogical, irrational, and ever-irritating it may seem for Men. This is not easy or obvious to you, but it works.
Do this and Women will show up in your world with love, grace, femininity, and connection in a way you have never imagined possible.