If you bought into the concept of sexual equality and you’re a woman, you probably have a hard time getting or keeping a relationship with men.
Why? Because men are in no way equal, alike, or even a little bit similar to women in who they are, what they do, what they find interesting, how they think and operate and what motivates them in life.
This is obvious to most men, but somehow it seems women miss it. They want men to be more like themselves, not understanding what that, in itself, will create for men. Wanting men to act or be like you (sweet, sensitive, talkative, in touch with his feelings) will have you collide with men and leave you feeling that he’s a jerk.
But he’s most likely not a jerk…he’s a man! If you make him wrong for who he is, he will experience you as a disrespectful woman, which will always have him respond negatively. He’ll blow up, or push back, or quietly walk away, sometimes forever. And you’ll blame him for it.
Making men wrong for being men is very popular nowadays, but it is not the way to attract men or get them to stick around. Why would they put up with that?
Equality does not work between men and women when it comes to a love relationship—it goes against nature entirely.
Some things just don’t exist in nature. Men will never be able to have babies. Is that wrong, or is it nature? Women don’t have testes. Is that wrong, or is it nature?
Men’s and women’s brains are as different as a penis and a vagina. There is no “equality” or similarities in how they appear and function. Is anything in the world more obvious? In the same way, men act and are motivated by a different survival system than women are.
The problem with sexual equality is that it creates competition, which kills intimacy and sensuality. Equal rights and equal pay are no-brainers, but equality in love kills a relationship.
Successful relationships are like ballroom dancers: the man leads, and the woman follows. This doesn’t mean she’s a doormat or has no say in the dynamic. It means she gets to hold her own while at the same time letting go of control. By trusting her partner and letting him lead, she gets to relax in her feminine essence, where she can enjoy his leadership and her natural flow.
Ironically, the more you let go, the more the man will step up in every facet of your life and relationship. Imagine a life with a man who takes on the responsibilities of work to allow his wife to work part-time. She’s the one who gets to be present to raise their kids and make a comfortable nest for all. For him, home becomes a soft place to land at the end of the day so he can recharge and go attack to fight the world again the next day.
If you fight for equality, the complementarity goes away. The man will have to fight to be respected, and the woman will have to nag to be cherished. At the end of it all, she’ll never feel cherished, and he’ll never feel respected, and things will unravel quickly. Two similarly polarized magnets pushing against each other never works!
What works is a complementary dynamic. Just like magnets, positive and negative attract each other powerfully. Same with ballroom dancers: together in opposition, they create a beautiful complete unit, where he gets to lead and feel like a gentleman, and she gets to follow and feel like a lady. This works naturally, and it’s beautiful to watch. You can see it in couples who have it. It’s a joy to watch.
Hope this helps,