That is how you should approach them. 

As a coach, I often get while talking to men that they think Women are too emotional, illogical, unreasonable, disrespectful, and often right down …crazy (Sorry). Gee, I wonder why we have problems.

Funny thing is, Men will describe themselves as “not that complicated” and easy to understand.

Well, that’s not true. There are very complex things that have Men function in very specific ways that are not obvious at all…especially to Women.

So, for Men to discard Women’s reactions or feelings as erratic or illogical is as helpful as saying “Men are stupid because they can only do one thing at a time.”

Men, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Women’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of pain. I’m sure you’ve experienced some of this with Women already. Think about the past for a minute… ever asked yourself, “What is wrong now?” or “Now she’s not talking to me, and I have no idea why!” Right?

Then you ask, “Are you okay?” and she answers, “ I’m fine” when she obviously isn’t, but now you think she’s playing games and you get annoyed. You ask her one more time a little more frustrated than before. She gives you the same answer… now you’re mad and neither leave the room nor the house.

Men, when it comes to Women, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).

Let me explain.

If you were to fly into Asia for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that do not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Asia, you better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed in that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going there would be very smart and respectable…and the best way to a successful transaction, deal, or experience.

That’s exactly how you want to approach Women. You must know what works for Women in order to succeed with Women (and yes, they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Women function, how their feelings run the show, and why they operate the way they do, is the loving and respectful way to be with Women. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Women.

Do I have your attention?

Men, you have the power to turn Women into sweet, fun, respectful and loving, feminine creatures and to have them support you the way you want them to when you understand how they function and what works for them… can you beat that?

Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to her and motivate her? I mean…not even close!

The problem is when we, Men, don’t understand Women, we often try to fix or manage them like Men. Which never works…have you noticed?

We want Women to be straightforward, cool-headed, emotionally predictable, and to not take things personally…well that’s all fine but that’s not a woman…that’s your buddy.

If you want even and predictable…hang with your boys. But that won’t bring you closer to understanding women.

Not understanding or valuing women’s emotions will have you to lose every time.

Telling her to stop feeling what she’s feeling won’t get you far either… you’re more likely to end up in the doghouse again wondering what happened.

You see, Women are giant “orgasmotrons.” Everything they see, hear, smell, taste, and touch make them feel good or bad. On the spot, immediately. Moment to moment, how she feels is how she experiences life and that is her inescapable reality…ALL THE TIME!!!

They have no choice about this, it isn’t a decision… it just is.

A woman must feel good to do good, A man must do good to feel good.

Complete opposition, completely different machines.

If Men need to be respected by Women to be good in the world, then a smart, caring Man generously will learn to cherish women’s feelings as much as he can regardless of how illogical, irrational, and ever-irritating it may seem for Men. This is not easy or obvious to you, but it works.

Do this and Women will show up in your world with love, grace, femininity, and connection in a way you have never imagined possible.

Andre

The Missing Link for Strong Women and “Good Guys”

In the tapestry of modern relationships, we often expect our partners to speak the same emotional language we do. If you are a strong, independent woman, you have likely built a life you are proud of. Yet, when it comes to men, you might find yourself feeling deeply frustrated. It is easy to look at a partner’s silence or his preference for cold facts and assume he lacks depth or simply does not care.

At the same time, if you are a stable, hard-working businessman, the kind of man who has checked all the boxes, secure in your career and your home, you might be asking yourself why you cannot make a long-term relationship last. You have been told you are a “good guy,” yet you find yourself constantly misunderstood by the strong women you date.

The truth is, both sides are looking at each other through the wrong lens. If we do not understand how the other functions, we set ourselves up for a cycle of constant disconnect.

The Girlfriend Trap: Why Translating Him Fails

Ladies, when a man shuts down or processes quietly, what is your first instinct? Often, it is to call your girlfriends to help decipher his behavior. But your girlfriends do not have a man’s brain. They think and operate just like you. By analyzing his behavior through a female lens, you are highly likely to reach a conclusion that is miles away from his actual reality.

The breakdown happens when we assume our own emotional processing is “the only correct way.” It is easy to fall into the trap of believing a partner should be sweet, highly talkative, and constantly vocalizing his feelings. But that is not a man, that is a girlfriend.

If you want a girlfriend, get a girlfriend. But if you want a high-performing masculine partner, you must learn the culture of men. In that culture, love and commitment are not expressed through constant emotional dialogue, but through accountability, honor, stability, and protective action.

Approaching Each Other Like a Foreign Culture

To build a partnership that lasts, we have to approach the opposite sex the way we would approach a highly respected foreign business partner.

Imagine flying into Tokyo for a major business deal. You would encounter dozens of cultural protocols and codes of behavior that differ from yours. You wouldn’t arrive demanding they change their entire culture to match yours; you would study their customs, show respect, and adapt your approach to ensure a successful partnership.

This is exactly how we must approach relationships.

• For the Strong Woman: Understanding how men function and why they process logically is not about lowering your standards. It is about learning the culture so you can communicate your needs in a way he can actually hear and act upon.
• For the “Good Guy”: Professional success and a stable income are excellent foundations, but they are only the starting point. To sustain a long-term relationship with a strong woman, you must learn her culture too. It requires stepping out of passive “good guy” expectations and learning how to actively cherish her, lead with sensitivity, and bring emotional safety to the table.

The Deep Waters of Masculine Logic

Unlike popular belief, real men do not operate on a shallow or self-centered surface level. A masculine man thinks deeply about everything because he holds himself highly accountable for his actions.

While a woman might find relief in talking through a problem immediately, a man processes decisions slowly, logically, and internally. He may take hours, or even days, to formulate a conclusion. When a strong woman demands immediate emotional processing, she often forces a logical man to shut down. Conversely, when a stable man fails to share the outcome of his processing, he leaves his partner in the dark.

The couples who experience true breakthroughs are the ones who stop making each other wrong for these differences. They treat their partner’s psychological makeup with the same curiosity and respect they would show to a foreign culture they want to succeed in.

You can focus on being “right” and remain disconnected, or you can choose to understand the culture of the person sitting across from you and build a partnership where both of you are respected and cherished.

How have you navigated the different communication cultures in your own relationship? Let’s discuss in the comments below.

Stay Blessed.

—Andre

If you are ready to stop guessing and start building a high-level, lasting partnership, let’s connect. Check out my next event athttps://projectequinox.us/live_event, or book a breakthrough call with me today to discuss your situation further. Don’t forget to subscribe to The Healthy Relationship Build, my LinkedIn Newsletter, for bi-weekly insights just like this one.

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