That is how you should approach them. 

As a coach, I often get while talking to men that they think Women are too emotional, illogical, unreasonable, disrespectful, and often right down …crazy (Sorry). Gee, I wonder why we have problems.

Funny thing is, Men will describe themselves as “not that complicated” and easy to understand.

Well, that’s not true. There are very complex things that have Men function in very specific ways that are not obvious at all…especially to Women.

So, for Men to discard Women’s reactions or feelings as erratic or illogical is as helpful as saying “Men are stupid because they can only do one thing at a time.”

Men, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Women’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of pain. I’m sure you’ve experienced some of this with Women already. Think about the past for a minute… ever asked yourself, “What is wrong now?” or “Now she’s not talking to me, and I have no idea why!” Right?

Then you ask, “Are you okay?” and she answers, “ I’m fine” when she obviously isn’t, but now you think she’s playing games and you get annoyed. You ask her one more time a little more frustrated than before. She gives you the same answer… now you’re mad and neither leave the room nor the house.

Men, when it comes to Women, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).

Let me explain.

If you were to fly into Asia for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that do not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Asia, you better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed in that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going there would be very smart and respectable…and the best way to a successful transaction, deal, or experience.

That’s exactly how you want to approach Women. You must know what works for Women in order to succeed with Women (and yes, they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Women function, how their feelings run the show, and why they operate the way they do, is the loving and respectful way to be with Women. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Women.

Do I have your attention?

Men, you have the power to turn Women into sweet, fun, respectful and loving, feminine creatures and to have them support you the way you want them to when you understand how they function and what works for them… can you beat that?

Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to her and motivate her? I mean…not even close!

The problem is when we, Men, don’t understand Women, we often try to fix or manage them like Men. Which never works…have you noticed?

We want Women to be straightforward, cool-headed, emotionally predictable, and to not take things personally…well that’s all fine but that’s not a woman…that’s your buddy.

If you want even and predictable…hang with your boys. But that won’t bring you closer to understanding women.

Not understanding or valuing women’s emotions will have you to lose every time.

Telling her to stop feeling what she’s feeling won’t get you far either… you’re more likely to end up in the doghouse again wondering what happened.

You see, Women are giant “orgasmotrons.” Everything they see, hear, smell, taste, and touch make them feel good or bad. On the spot, immediately. Moment to moment, how she feels is how she experiences life and that is her inescapable reality…ALL THE TIME!!!

They have no choice about this, it isn’t a decision… it just is.

A woman must feel good to do good, A man must do good to feel good.

Complete opposition, completely different machines.

If Men need to be respected by Women to be good in the world, then a smart, caring Man generously will learn to cherish women’s feelings as much as he can regardless of how illogical, irrational, and ever-irritating it may seem for Men. This is not easy or obvious to you, but it works.

Do this and Women will show up in your world with love, grace, femininity, and connection in a way you have never imagined possible.

Andre

That is how you should approach them.

As a coach, I often sense while talking to women that they feel men are shallow or lack depth because they usually don’t talk very much, or when they do, it’s filled with data and cold facts, which must mean that they’re not very deep or caring either, right? Wrong!

Ladies, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Men’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of hurt. I’m sure you’ve experienced this with Men already. Think about the past for a minute, ever asked yourself, “What was he thinking?” or “I can’t believe he did that (or said that)!” Right?

Then you call your girlfriend to try to figure out what that all meant…. but your girlfriend doesn’t have a Man’s brain. She doesn’t think or operate like a Man; she operates and thinks like you. So how will that help you understand Men? You are both most likely to come to the worst conclusion that will be off by a mile from what your Man’s true reasons were to begin with.

When it comes to Men, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).

Let me explain.

If you were to fly into Japan for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that may not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Japan, you’d better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed with that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going to the country would be very smart and respectable… and the best way to a successful transaction, deal, or experience.

That’s exactly how you want to approach Men. You must know what works for Men in order to succeed with Men (and yes, they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Men function, how they think, and why they operate the way they do, is the respectful way to be with Men. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Men.

Do I have your attention?

Ladies, you have the power to have Men show up the way you need them to when you understand how they work and what works for them…. can you beat that?

Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to him and motivate him?

The problem for Men is when Women feel that their way is “the way”. To a Woman, if it feels wrong…it’s wrong!

Women can often be self-righteous about how Men “should” behave or what they “should” be like or care about in life.

This is typically not intentional– it’s just how it occurs. The problem lies in what it does to Men.

Women believe that Men should be sweet and kind and talkative AND connected to their feelings and emotions and …really??? No, that is a girlfriend. That’s what works for you… not him.

If you want a girlfriend, get a girlfriend.

If you want a Man, learn the culture of Men. There, you will find things like honor, integrity, accountability, respect, and loyalty, just to mention a few (yes, some men are broken or don’t live by these traits, but most do.)

These guys don’t play games– they take responsibility for themselves and their actions and choices, they know who they are, and they are looking for women who get them. Not women who make them wrong.

You can be attached to how Men “should” be…. or you can discover how great Men “can” be…and/or you can say you’re right and be alone.

Unlike popular belief, men think about everything, all the time. Yep!

This is because men hold themselves accountable for everything that they do. Big and small. Yes! Men pride themselves in what they do …and the processing of every decision is lengthy and profound. Men will process a thought or decision slowly and deeply and will eventually come out with a decision that may have taken hours or even days to get to. Yes, days sometimes.

Some women have figured this out and seem to get all the goodies with Men. You’ve seen them.

These women typically have put some effort into understanding the culture of Men… so that they can win and be in partnership with Men.

They have figured out how to operate in that culture and respectfully negotiate their wants and needs. By understanding and respecting the culture they get the best of Men and get to be cherished by all Men in the process.

Win-win. Isn’t that the point?

Andre