Okay, here we go again—what if being a “badass” is actually just bad?

I know, I know. It sounds anti-cultural to even ask that, right? In a world that pushes women to lean in, hustle, compete, and conquer like men, has anyone stopped to consider if it’s actually a good idea? Every choice has pros and cons—so what’s the downside of women being strong, independent, and powerful? Isn’t it all upside when they make money, lead, and take charge?

Well, let’s walk it through.

The Hidden Cost of Competing Like Men

To be competitive, women have to take on high levels of stress and pressure every day—commutes, deadlines, office politics, performance demands, and leadership expectations. Dr. John Gray (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) found that a typical workweek raises women’s stress levels up to six times higher than men’s. Yes, six times!

Why? It comes down to biology.

For men, stress can be productive. It sharpens their focus, boosts energy, and fuels achievement. Winning, competing, and problem-solving trigger testosterone, which not only reduces stress but also brings a sense of accomplishment. Men with structured, purpose-driven lives are generally stable, while those without it (passive males) often become irritable, emotionally and financially unbalanced due to low testosterone and higher estrogen levels.

For women, however, stress is destructive. Instead of testosterone, their bodies release adrenaline to power through tasks. But this triggers cortisol, which disrupts digestion, sleep, and weight regulation. It also strips your T-cells and immune system. Over time, this leads to exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout. The warmth and vitality fade from her eyes, and she becomes overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and ultimately unhappy. If she doesn’t stop, her body will eventually stop her—through illness, disease, or depression.

How many women do you know living this reality?

Is This What Equality Was Supposed to Look Like?

Is this what freedom and empowerment were meant to be? A life of exhaustion, loneliness and stress? For some women, circumstances left no choice—they had to do it all. And for that, I have nothing but respect.

But what if there’s another way?

Here’s a simple truth when it comes to men and relationships:

👉 Men love happy women.

Not overwhelmed, anxious, bossy, or exhausted women—just happy ones. And no, happiness doesn’t mean weak or powerless. It means fulfilled, peaceful, and aligned with who you truly are.

Re-calibrating how you operate in life is possible. I see it with my clients every week.

On my latest podcast (#80), my guest Jeanette Ortega—a fitness expert and life coach—shares her journey of breaking free from the stress and burnout that nearly cost her everything. Spoiler: Being a “badass babe” wasn’t the answer.

Go check it out on my website or listen here. You might just discover your own power in the process.

—Andre