Can a Woman Be Too Independent for a Relationship?
A woman recently asked me, “Can a woman be too independent for a relationship?”
My answer?
Absolutely. 100%. No doubt about it.
Why?
Because we’ve raised you ladies to be like men. To think, act, and perform like men.
You’ve been told to be strong, self-sufficient, unbothered, and untouchable. And you believe this makes you easier to be with.
“I’ve got my own house, my own car, my own money. I’m no trouble.”
And yet… nobody wants to date you.
Why?
Because that kind of independence is repelling to masculine men.
Let me break this down.
This is not just my opinion—it’s based on thousands of hours of research, interviews, coaching, and data I’ve gathered since 2006, learning from five of the top relationship masters in the world.
Independence ≠ Relationship Readiness
The core problem?
You think being independent makes you relationship material.
It doesn’t.
Being independent is you, alone.
Me, myself, and I.
A relationship is not independent—it’s interdependent.
It’s “me and you,” building something together, supporting each other, creating a life, a legacy.
So if what you want is a relationship, you need to stop leading with independence and start learning interdependence.
Masculinity and Competition
Here’s what else you might not realize:
When you’re in your independence, you’re in your masculine.
When you’re in your masculine, you become competitive, uncooperative, and often disagreeable to other masculine energies.
And here’s the kicker:
Masculine men don’t want masculine women.
We are not looking to date another version of ourselves.
So, what happens?
We walk away.
We don’t engage.
We don’t chase.
Because your energy is uncomfortable. It’s hard. It’s cold. It’s not inviting. It’s not feminine.
It’s not you that we’re avoiding—it’s the masculine posture that we have no interest in negotiating with.
You Can’t Serve Two Masters
Let me go a step deeper.
You cannot serve two masters.
You can’t be 100% committed to your career and expect a relationship to fall into place magically.
I’m not saying don’t work.
I’m saying if you want a thriving relationship, you can’t be fully consumed by something else and still expect to be emotionally and energetically available to a masculine man.
A relationship takes time.
It takes nurturing.
It takes energy.
And if you’ve got none of that left at the end of the day, how is that supposed to work?
I’ve got two clients right now living this exact cycle:
They own homes. Pay their own bills. Work themselves to the bone.
And they’re exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, and wondering why love isn’t happening.
They think, “I have everything. Why isn’t this working?”
Because you’re operating like the man and masculine men don’t want to date men.
Masculine Men Want Commitment Too
Here’s the part no one tells you:
Masculine men will not commit to a woman who’s already committed to something else.
We can feel it.
There’s no space for us.
We won’t compete with your job, your independence, or your calendar.
If we want to build something—marriage, family, a legacy—we’re looking for a woman who wants that too.
Who’s open? Receptive? Available?
Not a woman who’s too busy being a boss to even let us in the door.
So, if this is triggering, good. That means it’s touching something real.
Push back if you want. Ask me questions. I can back every word with real data.
What Now?
If any of this speaks to you—and you’re tired of being stuck—I’ve got some options:
- I run monthly events that dive into this stuff.
- I offer group coaching memberships that are affordable and powerful.
- Or, if you’re brave, you can book a free call with me. We’ll decode your specific situation in 15 minutes flat. You’ll walk away understanding exactly why you’re stuck—and what to do about it.
Let me be clear:
It’s not your fault.
It’s the culture.
The wave of modern ideology that’s been sold to you as empowerment but is keeping you stuck, confused, and alone.
If you’re ready to live in truth instead of struggle—
I’ll be here. On this side.
See you soon,
– Andre