The Drama Triangle in Relationships
The drama triangle is a social model that maps the often-unconscious roles individuals play in conflicts and challenging situations. It was first identified by psychiatrist and educator Stephen Karpman in the 1960s and is also known as Karpman’s Triangle. The roles in the drama triangle include the victim, persecutor, and rescuer. The victim portrays helplessness, powerlessness, and vulnerability. The persecutor engages in blaming, criticizing, or attacking the victim. The rescuer enables the victim by stepping in to solve their problems, giving them advice, or providing them with resources.
How to Break Free from the Drama Triangle
Individuals can take some steps, including:
- Recognize the patterns: Understanding the drama triangle is the first step to breaking free from it. By recognizing the roles being played in a conflict, individuals can consciously choose not to participate or perpetuate the unconscious dynamics of the triangle.
- Change one’s behavior: Individuals can break free from the drama triangle by learning new communication and behavioral patterns. This may involve being direct, assertive, and setting boundaries when communicating.
- Encourage direct communication: By encouraging direct communication amongst the individuals involved in the conflict, one can avoid misunderstandings, assumptions, and projections that fuel the drama triangle. Individuals should practice open, clear, and respectful communication.
- Seek therapy: In some cases, breaking free from the drama triangle requires professional help. A therapist trained in cognitive and behavioral therapies can help people develop healthy communication, establish boundaries, and examine and challenge their beliefs and behaviors.
How to Remove Yourself From the Drama Triangle
Breaking free from the drama triangle is an ongoing process that requires self-awareness, communication, and a willingness to change entrenched communication patterns.
I get asked a lot “how to not react emotionally”. While that can be a good goal, it takes time and practice when dealing with trauma triggers. Again, the key is to look into what the internal trigger is. It’s not necessarily them, but you.