Communicating with Men- Understanding Their Natural Style
In our culture, which has become increasingly feminized over the past few decades, the dominant communication style being encouraged is the feminine one—verbal expression. Speaking is women’s primary mode of communication with men, women, and children alike. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. However, it’s important to recognize that:
“Speaking is a feminized paradigm, NOT a masculine paradigm in communication.”
Men, of course, do talk, but much less than women and for different reasons. Verbal expression is simply not a natural or preferred mode of communication for men. For women, this can feel like a problem:
“I only get a one-word answer. I don’t know what’s going on inside him—what he’s thinking or how he feels about me.”
Because speaking is such a natural and fulfilling way for women to connect, they often insist that men “should” be more talkative, open, and vulnerable with their thoughts and emotions. However, since men do not need verbal communication for connection—but instead use it mainly to exchange data or information—this often leads women to conclude that men are shallow, selfish, uncaring, or even defective.
That’s a big mistake.
These assumptions are not only inaccurate but completely misguided. Men do have deep feelings, but instinct compels them to keep emotions bottled up for self-preservation. For many men, revealing vulnerabilities can feel dangerous. This is an essential truth to understand about them.
Men Communicate Differently by Nature
For most men, talking is “work,” and they do it only when necessary. Long, emotional conversations or hours on the phone? That’s for your girlfriends, not your man—if he’s truly masculine. Deep down, you probably already know this.
Rather than making men wrong for their natural tendencies, it’s important to understand them and find a middle ground. Demanding that a man communicate like a woman will never work. If you’ve tried, you’ve likely experienced frustration. It’s not that he’s being a jerk—it’s that forcing him into a feminine style of communication is deeply disrespectful to his nature.
Imagine if men demanded that women stop talking so much because they found it irritating:
“You talk too much for no good reason. Get to the point already, I need you to stop talking unless you have something important to say.”
Can you imagine a man saying that? Yet that’s exactly what women do when they insist men communicate the way they do. Real men will never communicate like women, nor should they. Instead of resisting this reality, you can learn to appreciate and respect how men naturally express themselves—and in doing so, foster a stronger connection.
A Global Perspective on Communication
Other cultures seem to understand this dynamic better than the U.S. One of my clients, Michelle L., who grew up in France, shared her experience:
“I grew up in France and am better emotionally calibrated in the French way of embracing the feminine. That, mixed with understanding the more masculine, non-verbal, tactile communication style, works great!”
So, are you curious to learn how men naturally communicate—the way that feels most respectful and effective for them? Wouldn’t that be valuable insight?
Discover the Secrets to Effortless Communication
Join one of my programs and learn what truly works for men and why. Once you understand, everything becomes easier and more enjoyable.
As my clients often say:
“It’s so easy when you know what to do.”
Schedule your complimentary Breakthrough Call with me today:
https://projectequinox.net/contact/
On this call, we’ll identify what’s not working, explore your ultimate relationship goals, and determine how I can help you get there.
This call is my gift to you (a $397 value). Go for it!
– Andre